Individualism is at the cornerstone of the rights revolution, transforming our notions and perceptions of marriage, family, and intimate relationships. In the video we saw today, Women and Men Unglued, commentators suggested individualism and the rights revolution have overturned traditional notions of gender (that is, masculine and feminine roles). One commentator suggested that gender was a "script" we made and may no longer need.
Discuss how people in the film (such as Borys the club promoter, the two male musicians, Christine the Chinese-Canadian lawyer, and others) are dealing with these changes in gender, which then affect their intimate relationships. Do you think marked gender differences are becoming obsolete? How do you feel about this?
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The one woman who lived in B.C. (can't remember her name), chose to live her life separate from serious relationships, which to her demanded time, money, and energy. Instead, she spent her time with various friends that fulfilled specific interests she had. In my opinion, all the power to her! The traditional ideas that a man and woman find one another by a certain time only to have children and a white picket fence is hideous in today's society.
The power of individualism extends further than just relationships, it takes care of fulfilling our endless pursuit of happiness. Borys loved the fact that his dog gave him unconditional love and while he lacked a woman's love, he could continue living his life, bump free.
There's no question that marked gender differences are becoming more obsolete. Although we will continue to have certain qualities that define men differently from women and vice versa, individualism is a strong development parting from the old traditions and notions of marriage, family etc.
It seems as though all the characters in the movie either hated the idea of getting really close to someone (e.g the blonde hair women) or wanting to seek that individual who can fulfill their needs for the rest of their lives with unconditional love (eg. the girl who sang terribly that was influenced by her parents relationship).
People are realizing (such as Boris) that other genders can look after themselves and don't solely rely on the other for "protection" or "security". There is no more role playing in relationships where males are the strong providers and women the dependent users (I'm not sexist, just stating truth). People are recognizing this change throughout society and basing different opinions for what they look for in relationships.
Yes, marked gender differences are becoming obsolete. We no longer have control on making rational opinions on what to think of the other because of individualism becoming a part of people's lives. People can make decisions for themselves and live the way they want. Freedom has never been so alive.
I think recent tendency of rejecting traditional notion of gender difference and perception of marriage, family and intimate relationship is a reactionary approach. It is the exploitation, which is to blame, not the concept itself.
For example, when mankind first started to form nuclear families, the role of gender was delegated to fulfill some practical goal, which was mostly revolved around raising children. The ‘lady of the house’ needed to stay at home for several reason such as: Agriculture, menstruation, breastfeeding, etc. On the other hand, ‘Man of the house’ had to stay out for taking part in hunting. The nature of the task these two gender used to perform shaped up their overall physics and psyche over the ages. The male became comparatively more aggressive and stronger than their female counterpart (Note: female still possess the strongest biological system in nature – The reproductive system, therefore, the term ‘physically stronger’ has many dimensions indeed).
On the other hand, nature made female emotionally more mature and caring for the best interest of the newborn; Nature selected this combination because it ensures the optimum evolutionary progression. Initially, for their unique position of nurturer and birth giver, females were widely worshipped as mother nature and were given higher rank in the society. A Maternalistic society was born.
But as time passed, gender politics and exploitation spoiled this rather balanced, mutual agreement. Because Male had all the exposure to the outside world of administration, politics, business and defense, they took the advantage of their position and started to dominate over their female counterpart by undermining their role as nurturer and that was the inception of a paternalistic male dominant society, which is still in practice.
I view the rejection of gender as going back to the primitive ‘agreement’ between gender roles, not denying the ‘gender’ itself. For example, the introduction and acceptance of house-husband concept or female as the bread earner of the family, not the bread maker etc. The chemistry between male and female still exists no matter of how popular is the recent trend of gross denial of family, marriage and intimate relationship. Proof? In either gay or straight relationship, it still involves two individual one at a time, not three or more! Even, in same-sex relationship, ‘gender’ factor is apparently eliminated as sexual orientation/polarization is altered due to one’s gene, hormone change or social fad (where people lose interest on opposite sex because too much exposure and availability of sex in western society make the hunt less challenging and exciting!) but the core element ‘attraction’ remains in practice.
In fact, there’s no difference between marriage and living together (Be it for a week or single night)- at least, polygamy or promiscuity is not allowed in either case! But the major exception is that marriage has some set of legal & religious rules, which by force protect emotional, financial interest of one or either for the sake of maintaining discipline of greater society. If two individual (same or opposite sex) mutually agree that they trust each other in terms of maintaining individual freedom, equal financial contribution etc. then the concept of marriage as a basis of family no longer relevant at least in individual level. Again it depends on individuals.
Relationship is all about attraction between two individuals, which could be physical and/or emotional. The ideal relationship is the combination of the two. However, in either case, one might prefer security & emotional stability which end up in a long term relationship and other might value diversity & sensual pleasure which demand short term give and take relationship naturally. This is not the question of right or wrong, it is about individual preference. The most important aspect is, despite the right revolution and champion of individualism, any relationship, short or long, is all about sharing, where every party has to sacrifice some of their individuality. Now the question of our time is how much.
The movie suggested that people no longer desire long term relationships. The people in the movie were all late 20's to mid 30's, amd all were single. I believe that there are people who want a long term relationship, and there are those who don't.
I often wonder if technology has sometinng to do with this. Our culture is so obsessed with the next best thing, no one stops to thing about taking there time to build something strong. If we didn't have such a strong desire for the next best thing, than mabye the movie we saw would have never been created.
To think that gender differences are becoming obsolete is a naive notion. Even new research is showing that newborns are predisposed to notions which were previously thought to be socialised roles of gender.
To discount gender is also to discount millions of years of evolution and suggest that we have whimsically created differences between a male and a female. This is simply arrogant and ignorant to the fact that humans are animals which have been subjected to environment. gender roles although they are not essential and shouldn't be assumed do exist and will always. This is needed for procreation.
I don’t feel that there is an obsolescence of gender differences, I think that people have different life goals now. Individualism allows people to be more independent overall, and possibly self-sufficient with regards to a relationship. The “script” is no longer needed to dictate what people have to do at a certain age. Because of advances in information technology, we are globally more aware of the doors that are open to us and can make more educated decisions about life.
Marked gender differences have become blurred with the search for equality and the perfect relationship. The people in the film seem to be on the hunt for the 100% right person, but are not willing to search for them. They feel that relationships are useless unless you have the perfect person. However, how is someone able to find the perfect person if they don’t look.
The changes in gender roles have made women more independent and in some cases, this can intimidate men. In Christine’s case, as a high profile layer, she doesn’t have the time to do any serious dating, and would have a hard time meeting men who are not intimidated.
I feel that the gender roles between both sexs have changed dramatically in the past so many years. That relationships have changed and as well as finding them. Women are more induvidual and worry more about their profession rather then a relationship these days. The perceptions of men and wemon are so different these days that men might possibly feel intimidated by a woman with a better job and not want to be forward with them. The traditional roles between genders are not the same as they used to be, so neither is how they find each other and make a relationship last.
In the movie most the women were shocked but did not seem to care that they were not in a relationship or married, they were of a higher age and did not care about dating someone to waste time unless they thought it was the person they could marry. I find that to find the right person to marry you have to grow with one another with experience. You cannot just instantly know if you can marry someone just by a first date. So overall about the movie I find that these women are not going to find someone to be with because they dont try hard enough with relationships; although they do with their profession. This proves how drastic genders have changed over the years.
Personally, I think gender roles are becoming obsolete in todays society on paper, with all these new laws and regulations that make it just as easy for both men and women to do what they want, but in society there are still perceptions that the genders are "expected" to fill, these however very from where ever you go. For example, when I'm with my grandparents, I am frowned upon for not having had children yet or even finding someone to marry and be the perfect wife, mother, and all so feminine, but when I'm in this college, I have the freedom to act and live however I choose.
I agree with Nik's comment. I to belive that someone that would like to refer themselves as individuals, will only seek for another individual to fullfill only their needs. I belive the world and society today has become very self conservative and self centered. Most people decide to live alone and not engage in any kinds of relationships. Like Borys, who loved his dog, felt that having that pet meant conditional love for him, while shutting out from everything else.
Although the term "gender" is used to identify ones sex, unlike before, it no longer characterizes or associates a woman or a man to a certain role. Everyday, we fall out of the old traditionals as sooner rather than later, the roles of these genders may no longer be recognized.
A person in the film (Christine the Chinese-Canadian lawyer) deals with changes in gender by not adhering to the roles society assigns men and women. She doesn’t live a life of isolation. She has established herself as a liberator-someone who follows her own set of rules.
No I think marked gender differences are not becoming obsolete. I feel that our generation lives on the edge of social change. We establish ourselves in society by portraying ourselves in the way/form we want. No longer do we live by traditional nurturing roles.
I believe that gender roles are blurring together and becoming obsolete. It is more socially acceptable for women too take on traditional masculine roles and vice versa. For example, more women work full time and men are now able to take a more nurturing role in the family. Like the people in the movie discussed, relationships are becoming more difficult because gender roles do not really exist anymore. Because one gender can serve both roles, you do not need to have a partner anymore. Originally, we needed these defined roles to survive. The only reason that a partner is necessary is on the basis of intimacy.
The movie also discusses the myth about the ‘one’. Our society has a belief in one perfect person for each of us. However, it is impossible for one person to meet all of our needs. We need several people to meet each of our needs.
Lindsay Hunter
I don't think marked gender differences are becoming obsolete. Individualism is becoming more and more obvious; however, individualism doesn't neccessarily mean gender differences are obsolete. Since human beings existed, there are some set roles for both genders.
In a relationship, people can switch their tasks or contribute in whatever way they can. For example, women can be the major financial supporter in their families today. It is common in today's world. But can men give birth to babies? These are things that are built in human nature and can not be changed.
I think individualism increase with the economical power. as much as woman has own economical power, she less carry to marry to have afamily. She thiks more about herself than devote her for the other people.
I believe that individulaism is an more honest attitude. I don't think that people longterm relationship ewere lasting bcause they love each other but economiclay they had to support each other. Nowadays everbody is with someone for more emotinal things.
If a person thinks about him/herself so he/she can be better also for the other people.
I believe that a lot of economical issues are covered till this time under the mae tradition rituals...
However, today's world is more honest and less hypocrite.
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